It’s sad when anyone dies. Worse if they were murdered. Worst if their death was reported by some amateur or smartass. Even worser, (yes it’s my blog, I could make up words if I see fit and I do see fit) is if they were killed because they were foolish enough to meet strangers for kinky sex. Strangers they never met in person but on Craigslist. Don’t people read and watch the news? You never meet these kinda people! They are bad! That is unless you are Katie from sassandbalderdash. Did you ever hear how she met the man of her life on Craigslist? Nevermind, it’s not my story to tell.
Anyways this teenaged couple wanted to take their sex life up another notch, so they enlisted the aid of this guy from Craigslist. Did I also mention that the woman was 8 months pregnant? Well she was. That just makes it even more weird, doesn’t it? She was close to popping, what the heck is she doing? Maybe that’s where the kinky party comes in. Apparently Mr. Craigslist was supposed to perform acts on the ready-to-pop woman while her boyfriend watches. Sounds really kinky if you ask me. Anyways, as you would expect and what they didn’t expect, it didn’t have a happy ending. They were both killed by Craig. (No silly, that’s not his real name.). She was strangled while her boyfriend was decapitated. I am not sure what pissed him off. Maybe he didn’t know she was pregnant? Or he was dumb enough to think he impregnated her. I dunno.
In the news, the boyfriend who was found without his head, (no pun), was thought to have died from head trauma. You think? So far, his head has not been found.
Note: Death and dying are not to make fun of but considering sometimes you just can’t help it, especially if it makes good Friday Folly Fodder. May they both RIP
I intended to blog about Miley Cyrus but it seemed like my draft was moved to trash. Is that some kinda hint? Well I guess that’s where it belongs. So, have you heard about the fella who swallowed a severed toe? If not, read on…
There was a fella who swallowed a fly
And please don’t bother asking me why
But I sincerely thought he’d die.
But the same fella, he swallowed a swatter
They tried to warn him but it didn’t matter.
He swallowed the swatter to kill the fly
And lucky for him, he didn’t die.
The fella next he swallowed a hook
To grab the swatter by its crook.
The swatter was to kill the fly
And no, he still didn’t die.
And then the man swallowed a hand
To grab the hook, you understand?
The hook to pull the swatter out
The swatter killed the fly, no doubt
I still don’t know why
That silly fella didn’t die.
And then he did something really strange
All this swallowing perhaps made him deranged
He swallowed a severed human toe!
Nail and all if you must know!
He deserved a kick in his behind
But for his stupidity, he was fined.
He didn’t die from what I hear
But when he poops, he gets kicked in his rear.
In case some of you didn’t know, having a son is a big deal, not that daughters don’t hold their own in the ‘big deal’ department but as far as I know, no one has ever sacrificed their personal hygiene for a chance of having a daughter.
In a story that sounds a lot like Snoop Dogg Lion’s, an indian man went to see a priest about having a son. The advice he got was to not shower or bathe. Thirty eight years and seven daughters later, still no son and still no bath.
Now a few things come to mind when reading this outrageous story. ‘His wife has threatened to stop sleeping in the same bed as him if he didn’t bathe.’ What sort of a threat is that? Every day for the last thirty eight years? By now I think Mr. Dirtyoldman is immune to her empty threats. “Look here dirtbag! You better clean up your act or I swear this time I won’t sleep in the same bed with you. Don’t laugh, this time I am dead serious! You still smell like the curry we cooked last month.” His response probably goes something like this, “Tut Tut, you say that all the time. You like the smell don’t you? Acqua di BiO (B.O as in Body Odor) is your favorite cologne.”
All jokes aside, what does this guy and Snoop Lion have in common? A lot. They both worship at the same church, apparently, and meditate using the same drug. Oh, and they both follow instructions very well, no matter how ridiculous.