Running Woman Makes Blogger Breaks Vow

English: Running woman Nederlands: Hardlopende...

English: Running woman Nederlands: Hardlopende vrouw (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dear readers, I have a problem. You see, I have this habit of double glancing everytime I see a beautiful woman.  It doesn’t help that I think women are God’s most beautiful creation, bar none. If a woman walks past me in yoga pants, lululemon or tight jeans, I can’t help but look back to see if she looks as good leaving as she did coming. Nothing sexual or lustful, just pure admiration for the fairer sex and the presentation. I am happily married and think my wife is the cat’s meow so I guess it’s more like admiring your neighbor’s expensive red jaguar. Not wanting the expense but thinking it’s still a beauty to admire. So now you get where I’m coming from?  Don’t want you to start judging me, calling me a playa and all that, because I swear, that’s not how it is at all.  Don’t judge be because of that last post. Here.

But anyways, I am not writing this blog to confess my bad habit to you, no sir/ma’am.  The reason I’m blogging is actually to tell you what happened on Saturday morning.  My 8-year-old has soccer practice on Saturday mornings and instead of taking turns driving him, I told the wifey that I would do the honors. I am more of the morning person and enjoy the alone-time, drinking my coffee while I wait for him.  Going to MacDonald’s for breakfast after is a good deal maker too.  So anyways, while standing on the side of the field, I caught myself double looking at a female coach who was coaching some 5-6-year olds. Yes, she was wearing lululemons. Or were they yoga pants? I was mad at myself and made a mental vow that starting immediately, I would not give any woman the double-look again.  I vowed to be strong. I had to stop before it got out of hand, right? So yep, no more checking out the grass on the other side. Done!

While enjoying my new-found emancipation from this binding addiction, movement on my periphery caught my attention.  I turned my head and saw it was just a blonde young woman, dressed in lululemon pants, or were they yoga? and matching top, out for a run.  Her pony-tailed hair swooped from side to side like a horse’s. (Oh, that’s why they call them pony tail! Aha moment!).

Kinda like her

 

Vow forgotten, tossed to the wind like torn up paper, I double glanced.  Yup, I did.  It was the hair, I swear!  She probably used it to put weak men with vows in trances. Mesmerize us.  Had to be. as here I was, double, triple, quadruple glancing, waiting for her to go by to see if she had the correct running form. She did! He hips, shoulders and entire body was a mass of rhythm. I was proud of her. Like a running coach admiring his star athlete.

Ok, nothing is as beautiful as a woman and nothing is as graceful as a human running.  See where I’m going with this? So yup, I broke my vow before it was even cooled from exiting the warmth confines of my thought. I disgraced the school of thought.

Honey, let’s go running.  Better yet, you go running around the block while I watch.  Yes, around the bed is fine too…

 

Check this out:

https://funnysideupandscrambled.wordpress.com/2015/05/18/its-all-about-the-sunscreen-honestly/

Advertisements

What’s better than yoga pants? See-through yoga pants of course.

Wrap Pant for yoga

Wrap Pant for yoga (Photo credit: lululemon athletica)

Apparently Lululemon does not agree with my above sentiments, judging from their reaction when it was found that the sheer material used to make the popular yoga pants, made them see-through.  And who wants to be seen through?  Anyways, Lululemon promptly pulled the pants down off the shelves.  What about company transparency? They apparently had a similar issue with their swimsuits last year.  I never noticed…

Like I said in a previous post, here, there’s nothing more flattering on a woman than a pair of yoga pants.  To me, the greatest invention by far.  Coincidentally, this couldn’t come at a better time as I was thinking lately that it’s time I step up and do my part in protecting our environment.  I cannot allow these pants to go to a landfill as God only knows what secret ingredient Lululemon adds to them to make them so addictive.  And seriously, do you want whatever that is to leak into our air? I didn’t think so.  So what I am going to do is collect them all in the name of charity.  What charity?  Who cares?  Just in the name of charity.  Anyways, can you just read the darn blog and stop interrupting?  I am going to take the pants and give them as gifts to my female friends.  Just the ones I like.  And don’t worry wifey, you’ll get a pair too.  How do you like me now?

I am not sure if Big Butt Betty should get a pair…

And in other unrelated news, statistics have shown a sharp increase in male memberships are yoga classes in the last few months.

Hey! Who are you calling a pig?!

 

Those black yoga pants!

Those black yoga pants!

I am going to come clean and confess something here.  I have a weakness for chicks in yoga pants. YES! I do! I think it’s the greatest invention for women, ever!

I have a preference for the black ones but any color would do.  If you have an average booty or think you are a couple of pounds on the heavy side, do not despair, get yourself a pair of yoga pants and voila! You are transformed into a tight-assed, sleek-looking babe! Walk past a group of men and look at them check out the new you.

Being happily married with kids does not make me immune to the powers of the yoga pants.  Sorry hon, there’s somethings I just can’t help.  If it’s any consolation, I love seeing you in those pants too. Mmm…

In case you are thinking ‘Dirty man!’, it is not a sexual thing.  It’s just like looking at a piece of art, you really can’t see yourself with it and really have no room for it but it’s worth admiring.  You feel me? I’ll even look at a mannequin in yoga pants.  Even Queen Elizabeth.